4 Best Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem

How Can you Improve Your Self-Esteem?

 Do you lack confidence in yourself and your abilities? Have you felt insecure in your job or relationships? Are your thoughts constantly bullying you and convincing you that you aren’t worthy of love or success? After working with many clients over the years, I realize how many people struggle with self-esteem that ultimately affects their careers, relationships, and self-worth.  In this article, I will share the best ways to boost your self-esteem and improve your mental health. Read on!

Self-Affirmations improve self-esteem

Fill in the blanks. I am a __________ person who deserves ___________. What words come to mind? Is it hard to imagine yourself deserving of love, success, or happiness? Wouldn’t it be great if we had a fairy godmother, that could “poof “us a positive outlook on ourselves? What are the things you say to or about yourself daily? Breaking the cycle of negative self-talk, and focusing on our strengths can be hard but not impossible.  In essence, how we talk to ourselves has a direct correlation to our self-worth. And, guess what? YOU decide what you tell yourself. Most people are their own worst critics so their initial thought might be negative. That’s OK and actually pretty normal. In fact, most people struggle with Imposter Syndrome. Gloss over those thoughts and search for other messages that are kinder and gentler. Recognize that a PART of you might be critical at times, but the MAJORITY of you is working towards changing these automatic negative thoughts. Parts work (also called Internal Family Systems Therapy) is a great way to start making changes to our self-talk tendencies. 

Self-esteem and forgiveness

Let’s face it, we are human beings bound to make mistakes and disappoint others. Making mistakes is a common human occurrence and, unfortunately, you might be unintentionally hurt by others’ actions. Wouldn’t it feel lighter to let go of that resentment? It is up to you to consciously and intentionally let that go.   When we fail to forgive others, we keep ourselves shackled to the pain. Forgiving is not necessarily forgetting and not always reconciling, but it allows us to release our anger and find peace within ourselves. Understand that most people are doing the best they can at the moment with the resources and knowledge they have. When we allow ourselves to forgive others, it makes it easier to forgive ourselves.

Inch by Inch is a Cinch, Mile by Mile Takes a While

The amount of pressure we put on ourselves is enough to break even the strongest of individuals. We rarely have time to see the multi mini achievements that we have accomplished. We put so much of our value on the results of our identifiable accomplishments or how we think others perceive us. Take the time to recognize your small achievements throughout the day. Did you not hit the snooze button this morning? Were you able to read through most of your work emails? Did you remember to use your star rewards on that afternoon coffee purchase? Accomplishments do not need to come in large packages. If we add up the little positive throughout the day, we can feel a sense of fulfillment. Sure, we can also recall the stumbling blocks that we faced throughout the day, but you have control over which you would rather focus on. (Hint, the answer is the positives.)

Self-esteem and Sharing

Did you know that we build more pride in ourselves when we help others rather than help ourselves? There is so much value in giving back to others what we had the privilege to receive. If you have a talent or are an expert in a field, it is fulfilling to help or mentor another. Pay it forward. The felt appreciation others have when we extend our help increases our “feel good “hormones thus impacting our self-esteem. The feedback we receive might be a starting block for us to see our value through the eyes of others. So, coach a local soccer team, or take on an intern at the office. Sharing your talents will quell those feelings of inadequacy, and build further confidence in yourself. 

It is time to finally focus on your self-esteem, as it can be a key to living a fulfilling and successful life.  Offer forgiveness for past mistakes, focus on the incremental “Yays” of the day, generate positive self-affirmations, and pay it forward. These simple tricks will open the doors for personal growth and rewarding relationships. As we acknowledge the positive changes we are making, we will build a sense of pride in who we are, thus boosting your self-esteem and improving your mental health. Our services can help you understand what you need to navigate through the ups and downs of life and improve your self-esteem.

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